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My coming out

This is a ‘sort of’ coming out, because for many of you who know me or follow me closely this is nothing new.

I am a polyamorous, queer, cis woman.

What polyamory means for me is that I can feel romantically and sexually attracted to more than one person at the same time.

Queer is an umbrella term for diverse genders or sexualities and in my case, it speaks to my bisexuality and polyamory.

Bisexuality means I feel romantically and/or sexually attracted to both men and women. Cis means that my gender aligns with the sex I was assigned at birth.

A lot of difficult terms, right?

This might be common language for you already, and for many of us it isn’t!

Dresses are for everyone

Even though I have been part of LGBTIQA+ communities* for many years and I am educating people about intimacy and sexuality, many of these terms and the way people refer to themselves as he, she or something more neutral are not standard language for me.

In the groups I’m part of, dresses and nailpolish are for everyone. When I meet someone, I don’t automatically assume they are heterosexual and monogamous. I stopped making that assumption a long time ago and from that time, the world has felt more free. I don’t go around telling people I’m polyamorous and bisexual. I don’t hide it either, but by not using the LGBTIQA+ inclusive language, people who identify as LGBTIQA+ can’t know my door stands wide open for them too. There is very little education about this topic and inclusivity is still not the norm. We’re working on it! It is crucial to mention that our sense of ourselves is not ‘by choice’. This is who we are. This is how we identify. If I identified as transgender, I would feel male in a woman’s body. And that would be as much – as little – ‘by choice’ as I now feel female in a female body. There are all these terms for various Genders, Sex and Sexualities. It is important that we all get familiar with them if we want to create a world where we can all feel at home as we are If you want to learn more about it, here is a very good read. Or maybe you are more of a video person.

Intimate Breath's inclusivity

Now here’s the thing: I am human and I make many mistakes. I can’t place myself in the shoes of a non-binary or transgender person. I still have a lot to learn and the good news is that I want to learn! Please, contact me if you have any feedback in how Intimate Breath can be more open to everyone. In the same spirit, I’m open to your questions about my gender and sexuality. The content and offerings I create about fertility f.e. are very specifically created for people with a hormonal cycle and a womb. It is sometimes hard to not exclude anyone and yet also create the safety a group needs to talk about vaginal mucus and other intimate subjects. Please know I do my best and I am always open for suggestions. *LGBTIQA+ = Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Intersex, Queer, Questioning, Asexual, Pansexual, Non-binary and more.

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