Recently I spent a weekend with a business coach, who was in the past also a sex- and relationship coach. At some point she gushed: "You use self-pleasuring for everything?!"
Yes, I do.
I self-pleasure when I want to feel more inspired and creative.
Like when I want to write an e-mail. I am not talking about the quick-fix, shortly-high clitoral stimulation.
I am talking about slowing down, sensing my body, starting with breathwork. I might first feel some emotions passing until my hips just begin moving by themselves and my body opens.
In times, I hardly touch myself even, pleasure can look many different ways.
Sexual energy = creative energy.
Sexual energy is not only serving to create baby's, it is there to create ANYTHING.
When I am tired but still awake in the middle of the night, I know I should self-pleasure.
For me the reason of my very occasional insomnia is 95% of the times an emotion that is stuck inside. Often I can't figure out with my mind that sadness, fear or anger are there under the surface. By now I just recognize the pounding heart and restlessness as my signs when I lay in bed wide awake and tired at the same time.
When I surpress an emotion, I block feeling anything - also pleasure.
With slow self-pleasuring, my breath deepens and I need to open up; emotionally as well. Often when I start touching my body, my skin and vulva feel numb. I feel only 10% of what I could feel, until I open up, little by little. And then the emotions that I had been pushing down unconsciously will come up effortlessly. Like a wave, or sometimes a tsunami, prior to the pleasure kicking in.
That's right, I use slow masturbation as an emotional release tool. It always works for me.
To go deeper in pleasure, I need to surrender emotionally.
Conscious self-pleasuring is my coffee.
I don't drink caffeine or green tea to compensate an energy dip. Waking up the pleasure in my body, even just as a little breast massage or sensual dance, is the perfect substitute!
I use mindful masturbation therapeutically in 1:1 sessions.
And it hardly ever looks like the images that are maybe going through your mind right now: full-on, clothes-off genital play. Even though it is welcome as well.
It offers a place to explore intentionally what feels good. And that is different every moment. You can experience pleasure in every single human act. But many people don't know how to access it. They don't know their own body, they don't know what it is that turns them on.
How can you create a pleasurable life (also outside the bedroom) if you didn't feel full permission to explore and learn to feel your turn-on? Or your turn-off?
When do you turn off during the day?
Exploring your sexuality in an all-inclusive and holistic way brings many insights and healing.
Why do I share this with you?
Because your pleasure matters to me. It does.
Imagine how a world would look like if you and I and everyone around us felt well-pleasured and turned-on!
I wish you a rich, pleasurable and fulfilling life on all levels.
If you feel like you could use some guidance and a supportive friend at your side, send me a message and we schedule a free intro call to see how we can work together.