When someone asks you: what do you want? , sometimes the answer first comes in a vague feeling rather than a concrete reply. Do you recognize that?
At one of my last desire playgrounds with friends, I got the opportunity to ask for what I truly longed for. Without a clear picture of the set-up we'd end up in to, my requests started bubbling up.
Behind Me, Within Me: Encounters in Support and Safety
Until eventually the men of the group where sitting behind me. I'd asked them to just be in a safe and protective role. At that point I allowed myself to feel small, young, vulnerable.
Later on, one of the men said: "You can always say 'no'." This was one of the supportive phrases that he improvised then, to which I immediately felt: "I don't even want to have to do that. I want to feel that you have got me, and even will say 'no' where I cannot."
Naming the Unseen: Touch and Recognition
I was processing an experience from a long time ago, where I was at an age where I longed for my caretaker to speak up for me.
This scene wasn't directed from the mind, it came from a very embodied and in-the-moment feeling.
The women were in front of me, touching my naked body. They'd be placing their hands on different body parts and naming them: "This is your thigh. It is just a thigh." Same with my breasts, my yoni, my lips,... I'd also asked the men to be very aware of any 'taking' or 'desiring' energy and looks - I didn't want any of that.
Dancing New Truths: A Body Reclaimed
It felt weird, or maybe, new, to ask for this - I was surprised this longing came up in me. This was part of my process in de-seggsualizing my body. They were talking to the 11-year old Lore.
Many weeks later, I still experience my body in a new way. It is even more mine again. Last night, I was at an ecstatic dance and felt my body as something precious, and I had a new awareness of who it is for to enjoy, when I feel comfortable being watched by someone, and when not. More so: I felt more than ever that I have the right to choose that. It is one thing to know it, another to really feel it.
I am so incredibly grateful for the power of those kinds of spaces in my life, and for people gathering to empower one another.
It's from those life-changing moments, many now in my life, that I am inspired to extend an invitation to you for the The Liberation Journey. We're gathering to grow in confidence, expand our inner freedom, and welcome more aliveness into our lives.
To learn more, join our upcoming Free Taster Call.