How To Feel Adored

What I want from you


I wish to feel adored.

I want to look in your eyes

and instantly feel like I am the most desired woman in that moment of time.

I want you to declare how much you enjoy touching my body. Tell me about all the details you discovered on my skin and about your favourite parts that you just can't get enough of.


I want you to take lots of time. Let me know that there is nothing more important right now

then watching me undress, massaging my hips and nibbling the side of my body.

I want you to take notice of all the little changes I undergo as I move through my cycle. Let me know that you are the person that truly knows me. You revere in the magic of my ever-changing.

I want you to touch my yoni as if it's the only thing that ever made sense to you. Be with me without goals. Show your utter presence and attunement. Receive my requests with eagerness and curiosity.

Until I shamelessly enjoy every minute of watching myself in the mirror, I thank you, my love, for supporting me in my self-love.



Being versus feeling worshipped


A client of mine told me she wants to be worshipped.

I checked with her: "Is it true you want to FEEL worshipped above all?"

It's a big difference.

Ten men might be worshipping her all in their own way and she might still not feel it.

What gives me the feeling of being worshipped is probably different from what she needs to feel that, and different from what those 10 men need.


Personally the moments I have felt most adored have been somewhat self-created. It has been in relational games of the Ask-For-What-You-Want type. It started with me getting clear first on the kind of touch, words and expressions I want to receive and then letting the other(s) know.


Here are some arguments I have often heard in return:

  • "But it's nicer if my lover just knows."

In the rare moments that happens, yes, let's celebrate it. But often the 'just knowing' comes from the experiences you've had before. Or maybe your partner happens to enjoy the same kind of touch as you do. If you want to feel a certain something, support your playmate by giving clear requests so you avoid unnecessary guessing, frustration or disappointment.


  • "But I don't know what I need to ask for to feel worshipped."

Sure, no one knows until they find out. It's normal. That's why there is playing and experimenting! In that case you are the one guessing for yourself, instead of someone else guessing for you.


  • "But if I have to tell them what I want to hear, it's not real."

The fact that you are in an intimate moment with someone most probably means you care about each other. You wish your lover everything they long for.

I choose to trust my intimates, that they will only meet me in my request if it feels right for them.

Maybe my friend Lisa didn't consider herself the worshipping-type, but there is so much love in her meeting me in my desire. Maybe she even discovers a new side of her and totally loves it!


You can try it out right now. Ask someone to appreciate you for something very concrete. One example: "Can you appreciate me for making dinner and doing the dishes tonight?" See what happens if you hear them speak those words, even though you asked for it.



My personal, basic recipe


Here's my personal desire, written to my lover:

"I heard you say you want to be in complete service of me.

You told me you want to give me

your undivided presence

and unconditional touch.


Well darling, here's how I like you to support me

in surrendering to the depth of what I long for.

Here's how you can be with me

and please me

beyond the greatest massage techniques

and aside from any skills or moves.


  • Tell me how much you enjoy giving this to me. "I love being with you in this way, I love pleasuring you exactly in the way you want me to. This feels like a gift to me (as well). There's nothing else I want in return."

  • Express your appreciation for my body. I want to let go of any self-consciousness. I want to drop potential worries about how I look, smell or taste. So tell me what you like about my body. Support me in feeling that there's nothing to worried about, more so, that my body is a delight to you.

  • Ask me. Over and over again: ask me. "How could this be even better for you?" "What do you dream I would tell you right now?" "Is there anything else I can do for you?"


The sacred part of me swoons thinking of the true adoration.

The cheeky part of me wants to say: "Then you'll be a good boy/girl for today."



#HowToFeelAdored #WhatIWantFromYou #BeingVersusFeelingAdored #MyPersonalBasicRecipe

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